Avenge the Simulated Roomies
by dearjenna
Summary: Follow the adventures of Loki, Odin, Thor and their adopted son Tony, as they all live together under one roof, get jobs and get sex. This story of jackassery was created after some multiplayer freeplay in "The Sims Bustin' Out." It is written by Jennifer and Melody (Rogue-Requiem). The multimedia form can be found here:
1. Prologue

**Chapter One:**

With the outsiders dressed in Midgardian garbs and Tony in the clothing he came in, the new roommates looked like tourists from another time. Odin had on a gaudy, golden outfit suited for an Asgardian king—or, rather, an old man in a nursing home. Thor was in nothing but a translucent t-shirt and boxers with hearts on them (his trip to Macy's was anything but successful).

"WE DON'T WEAR BOXIES IN ASGARD!" Thor shouted when Tony called him naked. "WE SIMPLY WEAR CLOTHING! HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THESE WEREN'T MIDGARDIAN PANTS?!"

Tony ignored "boxies," just this once. "Okay, seriously… You're going to have to learn to call this 'Earth' if you're going to live here," Tony retorted straight-faced.

Loki stood idly by, smirking, in the same outfit he cunningly put together to blend-in in Germany—an outfit that put Tony on edge.

The new roommates stood around for nearly an hour staring at the ground. The initial conversation, after they arrived to the plot of land Pepper had secured for Tony, was anything but constructive. Lots of bickering obstructed their decision-making over the size of the rooms, if the house could float, how to secure a large portal for communication with Heimdall, and where to stick Tony's lab.

After Loki was refuted in his efforts to receive a room at the front of their house, he resided to staying far away from the group as they tried to come up with something.

Tony had mapped out the little they had come up with on a device that could build the blueprints on a hologram, but nothing was pleasing the group. His efforts to put the Stark brand in fluorescent, eco-friendly lights atop a tower with each roommate their own level to suffice, were thwarted by Odin who found the entire thing gaudy, with grunts of agreement from Thor who stood by, mildly mesmerized by the hologram and the changes Tony could make with just the touch of his hands.

_I wish Emerald City would at least give me something_, Tony thought to himself.

"Look! This doesn't have to be hard." Tony said. "I'm an innovator! Who do you think puts together the floor plans for half of the Stark buildings?"

Odin turned to Tony in a huff. All he wanted was a golden castle in the sky with guards and a way to speak with Frigga and Heimdall, and, for some reason, that was too much for Midgard to handle.

"Why can't we just get the servants to do it?!"

"Servants aren't really my style," Tony said. "I like to take matters into my own hands."

"Well, fine! Then you take it, son of…"

"…Howard. And what is it with you space-freaks and your obsession with fathers?" Tony asked. The sarcasm could have been spotted from a mile away, but Odin would have never guessed it. _Loki did._

"'SPACE-FREAKS'?! HOW DARE YOU?!"

"Yes, 'space-freaks'," Tony said once more. "You stick out like a sore thumb here. And you look like one. I wonder if there's a Great Clips nearby—you all could use a little grooming." _It's like taking care of a dog._

"Tony," Thor spoke up, conveniently interrupting the brawl that almost occurred between his father and the Merchant of Death while also drawing Tony's attention away from his magical, glowing device and onto him. "We were only given limited resources to build our new home, and I fear that everyone's wishes thus far have gone beyond those means." Thor wasn't sure how things like money and income worked on Midgard, but he understood that more options were available to you the more of it you had. Stark had a fortune at his disposal, Thor knew, but where they were, his brand of currency was useless. These… Sim-o-lee-uns were all they'd been given, and they needed to be used wisely.

Tony looked as if he were about to protest, so Thor continued to reason with him the best way he knew how.

"Furthermore, we must not forget, this is supposed to be a punishment. Nothing will be gained by this if we already have every luxury available to us. We have to ensure that my brother pays for his crimes upon this world and sees the error of his ways, but that can only be done if we make some sacrifices. For the good of us all."

A look of grudging acceptance flashed across Tony's face before he returned to tap away on his device, destroying his previous blueprints before attempting to create something more practical. Odin's face, by contrast, was relaxed, eyes shining with pride at his birth son.

It was Loki, of course, who disturbed the newfound tranquility that had fallen around the three.

"My, Thor, that was almost insightful of you."

Thor glared at the sardonic tone in his brother's voice. In years prior, he would have missed the subtle hostility hiding behind Loki's normal biting words, but after being on the receiving end of his brother's rage and envy, it was now impossible to ignore. Thor loved him dearly, but he could no longer lie to himself that Loki wasn't a threat.

Meanwhile, Loki was asking himself why he hadn't teleported some place far, far away yet, and the only conclusion he could come to was that it had to do with his mother. He was under no illusions that this whole thing would be a complete waste of time and a continuous headache, but he had to at least _appear _to make an effort. For her.

Marching over to the God of Mischief, Thor intoned lowly, "Listen well, Brother. I know that you do not want to be here, but it is for your own good—"

"Don't," Loki snarled, disgust permeating his every feature, "_ever _presume that you act out of _goodwill _toward me, Odinson. You act only out of your own fear and guilt for your mistakes, and nothing more."

Despite the flash of warning in Loki's eyes, Thor couldn't stop his next words. "Brother, please, let me help you."

Loki's lips curled into a mocking smile. "Your _help _is the last thing I want or need. Your immediate removal from myself, on the other hand, sounds quite agreeable. Oh, and take the Allfather and the Iron Ant with you, won't you?"

The two held eye contact for a beat, two beats before Loki looked away, once again dismissing Thor and the others from his attention. Thor stared at Loki a moment longer before hanging his head, helpless at Loki's complete refusal of him. Maybe this hadn't been such a good suggestion after all. Maybe he should have convinced his mother of another way.

Or maybe he wasn't trying hard enough.

Despite their lowered voices, Thor and Loki's argument was well known to the other two men in their company. Odin could already guess what the two had been discussing, while Tony was well used to picking out little details in the background while he was busy concentrating on work. If Thor had had his hammer with him, Tony was sure it would have sparked with lightning with all the antagonism the two brothers inspired from each other.

Tony knew an open invitation when he saw one.

"So you two want a room together with bunk beds, right?" Tony's voice rang loudly through the tension. Neither brother responded. Tony chose not to take it to heart.

"Alright then," Tony spoke up in the silence. He grinned. "I'll just bunk with the Green Goblin, then."

Tony whipped his hands fast in an orbital motion above the hologram device, startling Odin—something he had only seen in moments of sorcery—and the hologram of a blueprint evolved into an one-story home with three bedrooms, a hallway, dining room, small kitchen, one bathroom to share and a living room. His fingers were selecting small keys and buttons and pulling rooms apart and resizing the floor-plan.

"I want a room at the front of our home!" the Allfather shouted.

"As you wish, madam," Tony said. Loki smirked, his eyes peering past Thor to see where each member would be placed. Odin ignored the "madam" hoping it was a mistake, but made sure Tony could see his fatherly disapproving look from the corner of his eye.

Tony put Thor and Odin in a room together, assuming they would do well together and cause the least amount of trouble. Stark allotted a lot of space for the two to divide decorating differences (Tony under the snarky presumption that the two Demidivas would be the most reverential interior decorators of the group). Their room sat towards the front of the house, as rulers should. He respectfully gave it to the Demigods after fighting with himself about what Pepper would say if he did turn this experiment into another Stark Enterprises tower and project. Tony's hands moved much like a composers as his ingenuity came to life to create a simple house, but one that suited the personalities soon to merge under one roof.

Five minutes passed, and Tony looked at his work and felt it worthy of a home. It wasn't long before everyone began picking it apart again.

Loki, of all, felt the most disdain and offense to his room being in the back, and being the darkest.

"You may be a ray of sunshine, but nobody knows when you never smile," Tony said. "Until then, your room will be dark, but I'm sure a few torches will light the way for some good reading… And other solitary activities. Want me to throw in some fantasy novels and _Playboys_? You seem like you'd be a Twihard."

The group of Demigods didn't understand the references, but Tony never needed an audience to be amused. At the very least, Stark just had to have the satisfaction of amusing himself in front of an audience—if they appreciated his wit, it was only a fringe benefit (a stroke of his ego much like the implied solitary activity thrown Loki's way).

At his request, Tony gave Loki a garden to keep busy with—much like the childhood pastime spent with Frigga—and some small skill-building sets such as a bookcase full of reading materials and a chess board—something to buy his time in Hell.

Tony's lab had most of the expensive items pertaining to science and technology, as if anyone was surprised—his lab was not nearly as impressive as his usual setup, but if there were to live like this for more than just a slumber party, it would have to do. Naturally, he placed his bunker in the center of the dwelling, not to be missed by visitors, should they have any.

"Oh, good," Odin said with a peculiarly witty tone. "It's just as gaudy as your usual palace."

Thor and Odin were given decor to remind them of home—posters with pictures of the bifrost. (Tony still won't explain how he got it.) Odin was displeased to find a lack of communication with Heimdall. It was enough to make the Allfather pass out. If it weren't for the assurance of Thor that Frigga had everything under control, Odin would have never been able to stand-up again. Loki's eyes wandered upward.

The house was built with stone like the castles of Ireland. There were windows and doors leading everywhere. Tony made sure Pepper wired money over so their new bungalow could be filled with whatever they needed and some of what they wanted. Without his name plastered in lights, Tony saw little reason to even act as if the house was his. He knew that Thor's daddy would try to micromanage everything.

Perhaps that was the first fear Loki and Tony could revel in together.

But the worst battle was yet to come. A new town and a new home means something even more new to the Demigods: Midgardian jobs.

"I've poured enough into this place," Tony said. "I don't know how long we're going to be here, but I'm done paying for something that isn't 100-percent mine."

Tony shuddered thinking about the woman holding his newest lease back home.

"We're getting jobs," Tony said. "You're going to learn to do more than sit on shiny, uncomfortable chairs."


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One:**

With the outsiders dressed in Midgardian garbs and Tony in the clothing he came in, the new roommates looked like tourists from another time. Odin had on a gaudy, golden outfit suited for an Asgardian king—or, rather, an old man in a nursing home. Thor was in nothing but a translucent t-shirt and boxers with hearts on them (his trip to Macy's was anything but successful).

"WE DON'T WEAR BOXIES IN ASGARD!" Thor shouted when Tony called him naked. "WE SIMPLY WEAR CLOTHING! HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THESE WEREN'T MIDGARDIAN PANTS?!"

Tony ignored "boxies," just this once. "Okay, seriously… You're going to have to learn to call this 'Earth' if you're going to live here," Tony retorted straight-faced.

Loki stood idly by, smirking, in the same outfit he cunningly put together to blend-in in Germany—an outfit that put Tony on edge.

The new roommates stood around for nearly an hour staring at the ground. The initial conversation, after they arrived to the plot of land Pepper had secured for Tony, was anything but constructive. Lots of bickering obstructed their decision-making over the size of the rooms, if the house could float, how to secure a large portal for communication with Heimdall, and where to stick Tony's lab.

After Loki was refuted in his efforts to receive a room at the front of their house, he resided to staying far away from the group as they tried to come up with something.

Tony had mapped out the little they had come up with on a device that could build the blueprints on a hologram, but nothing was pleasing the group. His efforts to put the Stark brand in fluorescent, eco-friendly lights atop a tower with each roommate their own level to suffice, were thwarted by Odin who found the entire thing gaudy, with grunts of agreement from Thor who stood by, mildly mesmerized by the hologram and the changes Tony could make with just the touch of his hands.

_I wish Emerald City would at least give me something_, Tony thought to himself.

"Look! This doesn't have to be hard." Tony said. "I'm an innovator! Who do you think puts together the floor plans for half of the Stark buildings?"

Odin turned to Tony in a huff. All he wanted was a golden castle in the sky with guards and a way to speak with Frigga and Heimdall, and, for some reason, that was too much for Midgard to handle.

"Why can't we just get the servants to do it?!"

"Servants aren't really my style," Tony said. "I like to take matters into my own hands."

"Well, fine! Then you take it, son of…"

"…Howard. And what is it with you space-freaks and your obsession with fathers?" Tony asked. The sarcasm could have been spotted from a mile away, but Odin would have never guessed it. _Loki did._

"'SPACE-FREAKS'?! HOW DARE YOU?!"

"Yes, 'space-freaks'," Tony said once more. "You stick out like a sore thumb here. And you look like one. I wonder if there's a Great Clips nearby—you all could use a little grooming." _It's like taking care of a dog._

"Tony," Thor spoke up, conveniently interrupting the brawl that almost occurred between his father and the Merchant of Death while also drawing Tony's attention away from his magical, glowing device and onto him. "We were only given limited resources to build our new home, and I fear that everyone's wishes thus far have gone beyond those means." Thor wasn't sure how things like money and income worked on Midgard, but he understood that more options were available to you the more of it you had. Stark had a fortune at his disposal, Thor knew, but where they were, his brand of currency was useless. These… Sim-o-lee-uns were all they'd been given, and they needed to be used wisely.

Tony looked as if he were about to protest, so Thor continued to reason with him the best way he knew how.

"Furthermore, we must not forget, this is supposed to be a punishment. Nothing will be gained by this if we already have every luxury available to us. We have to ensure that my brother pays for his crimes upon this world and sees the error of his ways, but that can only be done if we make some sacrifices. For the good of us all."

A look of grudging acceptance flashed across Tony's face before he returned to tap away on his device, destroying his previous blueprints before attempting to create something more practical. Odin's face, by contrast, was relaxed, eyes shining with pride at his birth son.

It was Loki, of course, who disturbed the newfound tranquility that had fallen around the three.

"My, Thor, that was almost insightful of you."

Thor glared at the sardonic tone in his brother's voice. In years prior, he would have missed the subtle hostility hiding behind Loki's normal biting words, but after being on the receiving end of his brother's rage and envy, it was now impossible to ignore. Thor loved him dearly, but he could no longer lie to himself that Loki wasn't a threat.

Meanwhile, Loki was asking himself why he hadn't teleported some place far, far away yet, and the only conclusion he could come to was that it had to do with his mother. He was under no illusions that this whole thing would be a complete waste of time and a continuous headache, but he had to at least _appear _to make an effort. For her.

Marching over to the God of Mischief, Thor intoned lowly, "Listen well, Brother. I know that you do not want to be here, but it is for your own good—"

"Don't," Loki snarled, disgust permeating his every feature, "_ever _presume that you act out of _goodwill _toward me, Odinson. You act only out of your own fear and guilt for your mistakes, and nothing more."

Despite the flash of warning in Loki's eyes, Thor couldn't stop his next words. "Brother, please, let me help you."

Loki's lips curled into a mocking smile. "Your _help _is the last thing I want or need. Your immediate removal from myself, on the other hand, sounds quite agreeable. Oh, and take the Allfather and the Iron Ant with you, won't you?"

The two held eye contact for a beat, two beats before Loki looked away, once again dismissing Thor and the others from his attention. Thor stared at Loki a moment longer before hanging his head, helpless at Loki's complete refusal of him. Maybe this hadn't been such a good suggestion after all. Maybe he should have convinced his mother of another way.

Or maybe he wasn't trying hard enough.

Despite their lowered voices, Thor and Loki's argument was well known to the other two men in their company. Odin could already guess what the two had been discussing, while Tony was well used to picking out little details in the background while he was busy concentrating on work. If Thor had had his hammer with him, Tony was sure it would have sparked with lightning with all the antagonism the two brothers inspired from each other.

Tony knew an open invitation when he saw one.

"So you two want a room together with bunk beds, right?" Tony's voice rang loudly through the tension. Neither brother responded. Tony chose not to take it to heart.

"Alright then," Tony spoke up in the silence. He grinned. "I'll just bunk with the Green Goblin, then."

Tony whipped his hands fast in an orbital motion above the hologram device, startling Odin—something he had only seen in moments of sorcery—and the hologram of a blueprint evolved into an one-story home with three bedrooms, a hallway, dining room, small kitchen, one bathroom to share and a living room. His fingers were selecting small keys and buttons and pulling rooms apart and resizing the floor-plan.

"I want a room at the front of our home!" the Allfather shouted.

"As you wish, madam," Tony said. Loki smirked, his eyes peering past Thor to see where each member would be placed. Odin ignored the "madam" hoping it was a mistake, but made sure Tony could see his fatherly disapproving look from the corner of his eye.

Tony put Thor and Odin in a room together, assuming they would do well together and cause the least amount of trouble. Stark allotted a lot of space for the two to divide decorating differences (Tony under the snarky presumption that the two Demidivas would be the most reverential interior decorators of the group). Their room sat towards the front of the house, as rulers should. He respectfully gave it to the Demigods after fighting with himself about what Pepper would say if he did turn this experiment into another Stark Enterprises tower and project. Tony's hands moved much like a composers as his ingenuity came to life to create a simple house, but one that suited the personalities soon to merge under one roof.

Five minutes passed, and Tony looked at his work and felt it worthy of a home. It wasn't long before everyone began picking it apart again.

Loki, of all, felt the most disdain and offense to his room being in the back, and being the darkest.

"You may be a ray of sunshine, but nobody knows when you never smile," Tony said. "Until then, your room will be dark, but I'm sure a few torches will light the way for some good reading… And other solitary activities. Want me to throw in some fantasy novels and _Playboys_? You seem like you'd be a Twihard."

The group of Demigods didn't understand the references, but Tony never needed an audience to be amused. At the very least, Stark just had to have the satisfaction of amusing himself in front of an audience—if they appreciated his wit, it was only a fringe benefit (a stroke of his ego much like the implied solitary activity thrown Loki's way).

At his request, Tony gave Loki a garden to keep busy with—much like the childhood pastime spent with Frigga—and some small skill-building sets such as a bookcase full of reading materials and a chess board—something to buy his time in Hell.

Tony's lab had most of the expensive items pertaining to science and technology, as if anyone was surprised—his lab was not nearly as impressive as his usual setup, but if there were to live like this for more than just a slumber party, it would have to do. Naturally, he placed his bunker in the center of the dwelling, not to be missed by visitors, should they have any.

"Oh, good," Odin said with a peculiarly witty tone. "It's just as gaudy as your usual palace."

Thor and Odin were given decor to remind them of home—posters with pictures of the bifrost. (Tony still won't explain how he got it.) Odin was displeased to find a lack of communication with Heimdall. It was enough to make the Allfather pass out. If it weren't for the assurance of Thor that Frigga had everything under control, Odin would have never been able to stand-up again. Loki's eyes wandered upward.

The house was built with stone like the castles of Ireland. There were windows and doors leading everywhere. Tony made sure Pepper wired money over so their new bungalow could be filled with whatever they needed and some of what they wanted. Without his name plastered in lights, Tony saw little reason to even act as if the house was his. He knew that Thor's daddy would try to micromanage everything.

Perhaps that was the first fear Loki and Tony could revel in together.

But the worst battle was yet to come. A new town and a new home means something even more new to the Demigods: Midgardian jobs.

"I've poured enough into this place," Tony said. "I don't know how long we're going to be here, but I'm done paying for something that isn't 100-percent mine."

Tony shuddered thinking about the woman holding his newest lease back home.

"We're getting jobs," Tony said. "You're going to learn to do more than sit on shiny, uncomfortable chairs."


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two:**

Finding jobs in this Midgardian economy could not have been harder for the group. Tony had not procured land in a bustling metropolis. For the sake of the men's sanity and egos, Pepper and Frigga both agreed that the new roommates should choose a calmer neighborhood with less foot-traffic. Unfortunately for Tony, that meant he had to settle for a town that had only just installed a complete set of stoplights; yet no subdivisions or poorly crafted, yet stable cluster homes were to be found. The Awfulfather and his boy relished in the solitude of the quiet neighborhood—the stretch of road their house sat upon was vast and deserted—much like the expanse from Heimdall to the throne. Tony chose to make the most of the situation, and regard the experience as a vacation. _Barbados… Hawaii… Nah. I'd never bring these bozos with me_, he thought.

Thor embarrassingly tried to tackle the newspaper a young boy had tossed onto the soft ground, but could not figure out where information was stored in the "device," nor was the Norse-hilarity sure of how to "receive employment from paper." Tony could only remember one time that he had seen such a sight: once while he was drunk and went with some old friends to see "George of the Jungle" and then again when he humored his father's old philanthropy and accompanied some orphans at the movie theatre to see "Tarzan."

"Look, He-Man—it's not that difficult," Tony said with a grin. The Demigod merely looked at him confused before continuing to shake the paper like a raccoon rifling through fresh garbage.

Tony snatched the newspaper from Thor and opened it up to the classifieds.

"It's tiny print, but I trust you can read. Maybe."

Thor just grunted and looked at the paper inquisitively. Tony figured it was safer to stay inside in case Blondie caught his locks of love on fire from all the smoke bound to come out of his ears. The scientist made his way down the hall to his lab in the center of the house—his haven. It was an odd, circular room—the arc reactor, the center, the heart of the home. With security doors and glass walls so he could see the goings-on in the home, he felt accomplished—like it was all his idea. For once he felt in control of the entire situation. The room was full of all the tech gore he needed to get his fix and a bed fit for a king. Chrome and clean like his lab at home. Tony already knew whatever job he ended up taking, he would be more than well-equipped for. He imagined some modest lab somewhere with a few nobody geniuses and he working on something. _Perhaps something nuclear,_ he thought as he entered his room. Tony started up the reactor in the center of the room and began tinkering with the currents. If he couldn't build, he could at least experiment with atoms. Just as he was in the midst of what he calls the "symphonic climax" of ionization—where the atoms split during nuclear fission—he heard a large crash in the room next door. His hand smacked down on the wrong button as a reaction to the sound and he shut the machine down. "SONOFABITCH!" he shouted.

Tony walked over to the next room, cursing under his breath. There he saw Loki standing, stunned, with a large smile across his face.

"What's that face for, Grinch?" Tony asked.

Loki's eyes left the scene, and gestured Tony's eyes to follow—his smile never leaving his face. Tony turned his head and found the Almighty Demiwhatever lying on the floor, face down. Odin had fallen asleep, and in his normal coma-like state managed to fall out of the bed.

"Aw," Tony said and began laughing. "I guess we'll have to get him little bars for his bed so he won't do that again…" Tony whipped out his phone and took a picture for safe-keeping and quickly sent it to Pepper.

"That one is going in the scrapbook," Tony said and grinned.

Loki and Tony stared at each other for a moment—a few seconds in and Loki had to break the contact. Tony kept staring, inquisitively at his opponent. He couldn't understand what part of him wanted to respect the alien, but it was irking him. He tugged onto his pride like a cartoon character lifts up his pants by the belt buckle, and made his way back to the lab, determined to be undeterred by this "Loki." This man/alien/Demigod/Demidevil/forgotten Frost-born—Loki was the same man who threw him from his own home and then destroyed it. Loki was the same being—however man he can be—that unleashed a siege of creatures onto an unsuspecting city. _The mayor loved that_, Tony thought. Just then Pepper called.

"Hey, gorgeous," he answered in his usual serious but humorous tone. "Just about to split some atoms, how's life in my fire hydrant that you've successfully peed all over?"

"Someone sounds jealous," Pepper said teasingly.

"Only a little. I'm living large here."

"How large, Tony?" she asked concerned. She had started to get annoyed by the idea that a new Stark Tower was sitting in the middle of this town that no one had heard of. "You don't need to draw att—"

"Not large at all," Tony interrupted. "Completely modest. Except my room. But if I plan on getting a job in a lab somewhere I need to have certain technological upgrades in my part of the house."

"I feel like you might be stretching the truth, Tony," she said.

"No I'm not!" He grinned. "I'm completely serious. You should come see it. It's great. It's…" Tony looked around, and grimaced when he saw Thor walk inside, having given up on the newspaper for now. "It's… It's like paradise…" Thor looked at him and waved awkwardly from the other side of the glass walls. "Paradise lost."

"Uh huh," Pepper said and smiled slowly. "Well, I just wanted you to know that if I come to visit Frigga might be making her way with me."

"Who is that?"

"Frigga, Tony! Frigga! Odin's wife."

"Oh. The Awfulfather, right."

"Tony…"

"What?"

"Have some respect…"

"Why because he thinks he's royalty?"

"He sort of is…"

"Well, so I am. And no one seems to respect that."

"The only monarchy you're a member of is in your head."

"I thought you said I was practically king."

"Yes. I said that when it was your castle. And now it's ours—and until you get back it's mine."

Tony groaned. "You win this time."

"Ha! I'll see you this weekend."

"Fine."

"Tony…"

"Sure?"

"I miss you."

"Yeah," Tony said, in his usual short way. "I miss you, too."

The phone clicked to signify the end of the call, and Tony looked down at the button he had jammed on his reactor. He rolled his eyes and sighed.

Loki had been standing in Tony's blind spot, looking into the room and watching him peculiarly. He was upset at this situation, but hardly at him. Yes, they were opponents, but in this regard, Tony was at least close to Loki's level. The two of them could understand each other. And if that was the pairing he needed to survive, he may not always get along with this Iron Man, but he'll do what it takes to tolerate him.

_Mother_…

The two demigods had been standing in silence on opposite sides of the hall, just staring at Tony through the walls as he finished his phone call. Admittedly, Tony felt relieved that the two weren't having another pissing match—especially not around his very nice and expensive things—but the staring was making him agitated. Adoring fans' stares, hey, bring them on! The stares of two blank-faced demigods, one a raging psychopath, and both of them in his private sanctuary? Pass. Tony exited the room and into the hallway so he could make direct contact.

"Alright," Tony sighed. "Is this about the bunk beds? Because neither of you really seemed interested, so there's nothing I can do about that now. I don't like changing plans once I'm on a path."

"Hardly," Loki remarked dryly. "Was that your Midgardian wench, the one conspiring with Mother?"

"I know that you know she has a name. It's Pepper."

"Yes. A real pity I missed her during the siege. She sounds lovely."

"You _don't_ want to go there, Frosty," Tony said stiffly, all humor leaving him now. The only reason he had been able to act as collected as he did during the whole New York affair was because he knew that Pepper wasn't there. She was safe, and if Loki, the very same bastard that caused all of that destruction, was threatening her now, then that was it. Deal's off. He'd build another fucking suit and rip Loki apart, and if he couldn't, well, he had Bruce on speed dial.

"Now, don't be boring. I only meant that she would've proved good company. It was so dull waiting for you to catch on to my whereabouts. At least I'd have had someone intelligent to talk to in the meantime. To use the Midgardian expression, I imagine she is, undoubtedly, your better half."

Tony relaxed, but only minutely. He still didn't like the way this conversation was going. Since when was his love life up for any discussion outside the hilariously "researched" tabloids he picked up from time to time?

"Okay, how 'bout this?" Tony turned towards the door, facing his reactor, intending to boot it up again and at least look busy. Maybe they'd get the hint to screw off for a few hours. "You guys come back when you actually have a problem to bring to my attention. My office hours are only from 4:30 to 5:00 p.m., every other Thursday—"

"I have been thinking," Thor interrupted.

Tony slapped a hand to his face, suddenly overwhelmed with fatigue. His eyes closed, he missed Loki's sarcastic eye roll.

Undeterred, Thor continued, "I overheard you saying that your Pepper would arrive soon with our mother."

Ah, he'd heard that. Great. He bit himself on the ass with this one.

"Could Jane come as well?"

The room suddenly went quiet. Thor looked hopeful, so sickeningly, adorably hopeful, both Loki and Tony noticed. Tony only knew a little of what happened between Thor and the young woman who discovered that there were gateways to other dimensions. The Foster Theory, a fascinating—and now true—concept. Admittedly, Tony'd love to get Foster here and pick her brain, one genius engineer to another brilliant astrophysicist, but now wasn't exactly the best time.

"Look, I'm not gonna' say yes or no, because I don't know. They're not gonna' be over here for probably a few more weeks at least, but I'll ask Pepper about it."

"Thank you," Thor said, sending Tony the warmest smile he'd ever seen on the man, and this was the god of thunder he was talking about. If Thor beamed any wider, Tony was sure a double rainbow would come shining out of his ass. "Smitten" didn't even begin to define what Thor felt for Jane.

Loki couldn't watch any more, but he couldn't leave without addressing some questions of his own first. Hiding his disgust behind an expressionless face, he engaged in an intense staring contest with a strange metal coil thing in the Man of Iron's room, trying to figure out what its function was.

As for Tony, the more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea of the girls coming over—the sooner the better, in his opinion. It'd be such a welcomed distraction from these demi-freaks. He'd be able to be alone with Pepper, Frigga would get the Cyclops off his back, Jane and Thor would be utterly absorbed in each other, skipping in the rain and other adorable new-couple crap, and Loki would have—

_No one. Shit_. _Loki would brood and probably plot to kill us all_._ Maybe he has an Asgardian girl somewhere? Asgard is a little one-dimensional when it comes to people, but there's always the weird ones who go for the nerd over the jock. Didn't the myths say something about a wife? But how do I broach that topic?_

Tony didn't need to, as it turned out.

"Brother, don't be upset!" Thor clapped Loki on the shoulder, the slimmer god buckling a little from the force of it. "I didn't forget about you. Jane has a lovely Midgardian friend she can bring with her. Darcy Lewis is her name, and she knows much about our culture. I'm sure you'll get along famously. Just don't anger her, or she will shoot lightning at you."

Loki shook off the offending appendage, scowling. He hadn't been concerned with being "forgotten" about in this spooling love fest. He was more angered at being reminded of the woman who had changed Thor, who had made him "worthy" of being Asgard's king. It had made Loki's own chances of esteem in the eyes of Odin and the rest of Asgard amount to even less than empty promises. Utter lies and nothing more. But that last comment got his attention. "Shoot lightning at me? I thought you said she was mortal."

"She is. But she has a formidable weapon. It caused me to pass out when I was just a man, and I imagine it can still cause considerable pain even to gods like us, so I would suggest you watch your tone when speaking to her, brother."

The only thing that distracted Tony from the hilarious imagery of the god of thunder being put low by a crazy woman wielding a Taser was how dignified Loki still managed to look even when he snorted derisively. _Must be from How to Rule and Be an Asshole 101_.

"Spare me, Thor. Your love and regard for the mortals may make you weak to their designs, but no such hindrance affects me. I certainly don't need one to _flatter_ me like you do with darling Jane."

There was a Hulk Smash joke in there somewhere, but Tony had other matters on his mind. With comments like that flying around, it was then and there that he decided that Ms. Darcy Lewis would definitely be put on the invitee list.

"Well, more on that later, fellas," Tony said. "How's the job search going?"

The brothers exchanged a glance before Thor withdrew the paper from—well, Tony wasn't sure where, and that was distressing—and held it out in front of him, puppy-eyes turned to the max. It was all very pathetic.

Tony threw a last, longing look at his reactor before approaching the two gods in defeat.

"Alright, before we get started, just reassure me. Lie if you have to. Just tell me the paper wasn't in your ass, Thor."

"It was in the waistband of my—"

"Lie to me, Thor! God, for once, I wish I was talking to the King of Lies over here."

"God," Loki interjected.

"Demoted! Reindeer," Tony shot back. Thor looked troubled about what to say, so Tony wordlessly outstretched his arm, accepting the paper and resigning to the fact his hands would just have to come indirectly in contact with Thor's obnoxiously sculpted ass.

"Since we live in a small town, we'll only get local job listings, which is ideal for our location but limiting in selection." Tony flipped through the pages as he spoke, looking for the classifieds. Finding it, he folded the paper and turned to show the two demigods, who looked at the black and white page over both of his shoulders. "Do you two have any idea at all of what you'd want to do? What are your skills?"

"I can pulverize a vargr with my bare hands."

"What the hell is a va—"

"I can dominate a small realm and rule with absolute power and fear."

"That's highly debatable," Tony quipped wryly. _Okay, so a military type and a control freak. Surprise, surprise._ Tony scanned over the job listings, only three listed in total. _And utterly worthless. But maybe I'm just not thinking of it the right way_.

"Well, gentlemen, I hate to break it to you, but today, we've only got offers for Computer Geek—obviously that's for me, though I think I could come up with a better description. More like Badass Mainframe Innovator. And then we've got Swindler and Slacker, not exactly promising."

"And this means what, Friend Tony?" Thor asked.

"We'll have to wait until the next paper comes. There will be more job listings then, and maybe they'll be better suited to your particular ski—hang on!"

Tony looked back at the job listings, then back up to the brothers, glancing from one to the other, and then back down at the paper, brow furrowed in concentration. _Look at it from a different way_.

_Let's see. Thor. Tough guy with a soft side. Loyal to a fault. A military genius. Instinctive. Regal. Fair judgment when Frosty wasn't involved. With that hair, he also looks like a hippie, okay, Tony, focus._

He severely doubted that any military careers would come their way anytime soon, but maybe something else would come along. For right now, neither Swindler nor Slacker suited Thor at all, and dammit, Tony liked the guy. He wouldn't saddle him up with a career he wouldn't find at least somewhat endearing, especially since he knew that Thor would probably do it for the good of all of them, even if he hated it. _See, big softie._ He'd keep that in mind.

Now as for Loki… _Jerk._ Okay, okay, he'd try to be…fair and open-minded. Loki was obviously cunning. Serpentine, really.

_The God of Lies and Mischief for Christ's sake. Quietly ambitious, an expert poker face, a master manipulator. A planner—one may even say a schemer. But a convincing one, not one of those plainly slimy ones you saw coming before they even spoke. Wow, am I describing Loki or describing Satan?_

"Swindler," Tony said, turning to Loki, "embodies you to a fault, big fella'. And even better, you'll be great at it. You're persuasive, you're eloquent, and just to make sure your targets don't stand a chance, you've got that unfairly refined accent that turns your every word into diamonds. Or at least that's what it'll sound like to your 'clients'."

Loki smirked. "Easy, Stark. Even with praise like that, I still expect you to pay for dinner first."

"Yeah, I would leave the attempt at humor at home."

"I suppose you are the expert in these matters," Loki smiled brittle-ly. "Of course you mortals wouldn't be too hard to persuade. I expect I'll enjoy this."

"What, you mean stringing along some poor bastards so they buy some outrageous piece of crap? Yeah, I think you'll get off on it for sure."

"But what of our father?" Thor asked.

Tony had his answer at the ready. "Oh, he's a Slacker for sure."

"He is?"

"Oh, yes. Irrevocably."

"But what _is_ a Slacker, Friend Stark?"

Tony couldn't look at Thor, or he'd blow it for sure. "Oh, it's a very important role here on the third rock from the sun. Absolutely crucial. It takes a special person to be a Slacker, and your dad, he's as special as they come."

"So his work will be essential?"

"As essential as we need air to breathe. In fact, it's so essential, I'll sign him up for it right now."

"What joyous news! I shall sit by his bedside, so that when he wakes, I can inform him immediately!"

And with that Thor bounded out of the room, accidentally knocking Tony sideways into Loki.

Holding his ground, Loki watched dispassionately as Tony ricocheted off of him to face-plant on the floor.

"I would say that was almost karmic, wouldn't you? Setting up a king to be a slacker."

"Fuck off," Tony grumbled as he regained his footing. "I saw an opportunity, and I took it. Even you couldn't have done better. Admit it, man. You're just as happy about it as I am."

Loki's shit-eating grin told him everything.

Finally Tony resided back to his room and booted up his reactor. As Tony began tinkering with the controls, he realized Loki hadn't left him.

"I'm going to kill myself," he muttered. "I'm going to kill myself, and I'm going to have my remains shipped priority mail to Pepper, and she can weep over my dead body and I'll just be laughing at her as I haunt the Stark tower, making ghost suits and ghost missiles."

"Just one other thing," Loki said, enjoying Tony's obvious frustration.

"Mm-hm?"

"That table in my room, the black and white one with the figures on it. What is that supposed to be?"

Tony looked up from his work, surprised. "It's a chess board. It's—chess is a game of strategy, foresight, and intelligence. What, do you not play chess on Asgard?"

"Asgard is made up of only about five different variations of Thor, so what do you think?"

"Ah, right. Home doesn't exactly go for the nerd with an effeminate, yet artistic soul like you?"

Silence. Really, just one time, can someone here appreciate his jokes? He went back to tinkering.

"Look, I'm sure there's a book or something in your room that can teach you how to play. I know how, but I'm kind of busy right now. Learn the basics, and I'll play you sometime. The game is always different. Basically, all you need to know to start is that one player chooses the white pieces, the other the black. White always moves first. The goal is to be the first to capture the other player's king. The checkmate. Everything else follows from there."

Tony glanced over at Loki, making sure he was following along, only to find him gone. Getting a quick intake of the room, he realized he finally had his peace.

"Damn, E.T.s," he muttered, recalibrating the settings, fingers moving with blurred motions. "They're going to drive me crazy."

Falling into his work, he'd been laboring silently, save for the whirring and beeping of the reactor, for nearly five minutes uninterrupted. He was just about to restart the project he'd blotched before, when he heard it.

"FRIEND STARK!" Thor's voice rang through the house. "I REQUIRE SUSTENANCE! WHAT ARE THESE GREEN THINGS IN THE COLD BOX? ARE THEY EDIBLE?"

"Mother of God, LEAVE ME ALONE! I JUST WANT TO DO _SCIENCE!_

Tony stormed out his room and made it to the kitchen a few steps away. Thor was rifling through the freezer and tossing food behind him that perplexed him.

"Don't you have anything a little more hardy?" Thor asked almost in a mumble when he noticed Stark had entered the kitchen behind him.

"Stop throwing things behind you!" Tony shouted, annoyed. "Why don't you go put on some AC/DC and zap some squirrels outside or something."

Thor ignored the scientist—as expected—and attempted to toss a box of popsicles behind him before Tony caught them and shoved Thor out of the way.

"I said stop throwing things, ape!" Tony said again with a stern brow.

"I'm sorry! I'm just so hungry!" Thor said, in his usually loud manner, and with a strong hand, he playfully smacked Tony's back. The force caused Tony to almost hit his head as he reached to the back of the freezer looking for something to calm the large man down. Thor's chuckling was interrupted by Tony shoving a box of frozen White Castle sandwiches into his chest.

"What are these?" Thor asked, inspecting the box much as he had the newspaper earlier in the day.

"You were on Earth last time long enough to have run into some White Castle sandwiches, I know that," Tony said and smirked. "You can't tell me you didn't end up on some street corner, at some point, smoking a couple of doobies with a few hopeless teenagers."

"I don't think I know what you mean," Thor said. He squinted his eyes at Tony. "Are you speaking facetiously again?"

"Never mind," Tony said and directed Thor to the microwave on the counter. "Look at the time _here_. You're going to want to set the microwave for that. Take the sandwiches out of the plastic and put them in there—on a plate!"

"This seems like a lot more effort than it's worth," Thor said. "Are we sure these are of any worth to our systems?"

"You'll learn to love them with time, Thor," Tony said. "If we keep living like this with small incomes, we'll probably end up just living off of Ramen for awhile, anyway."

"Ramen?"

"Never mind." Tony had become acquainted with Thor not understanding him, but he was growing more bored as time went on. He monitored Thor open the microwave and do as instructed—Tony was even kind enough to show his roommate how to set the time on the microwave.

"Your sense of time is so odd to me," Thor said. "I've always thought so."

"How's that?" Tony said, actually curious as to what philosophical dribble would fall from the jowls of the Demigod now.

"There's so much emphasis put on it," Thor said as he watched the White Castle sandwiches spin. He had planned on finishing his thought but became somewhat mesmerized by the repetitive motion. Tony rolled his eyes and left the kitchen to find Odin just waking.

"What is that smell?" Odin asked—Tony smiled from ear-to-ear. He couldn't remember the last time he saw someone quite as groggy as Odin.

"I'd love to know how you sleep that well," Tony said.

"Practice," Odin said, hardly amused by Tony's sarcasm since his nap. "Is that supposed to be food I smell?"

"It is food," Tony said, plainly. "Enough food to keep you two quiet, at least for a little while." _Sometimes I feel like a fucking babysitter._ As Odin was making his way past Tony, the house shook from thunder and a spark of lightning, even through the walls, could be spotted entering the kitchen from above.

All of the roommates made their way to the kitchen, swiftly—even Odin—only to find Thor on the ground with his right palm between his legs and the left holding Mjölner.

Loki had made it to the room first and bravely approached his brother. "What's wrong?" Loki said, stifling a laugh.

"This… This…" Thor began, but couldn't find the words. Odin looked over to the counter and found the microwave smashed to pieces and the counter split where the lightning had struck. The White Castle sandwiches, that the Iron Man had declared the perfect diversion until dinner, were in pieces all over the counter and floor.

"SON!" Odin gasped.

"I'm sorry, father!" Thor said, stunned to realize what he had done. "It was a mistake, I was just frightened. These edible things that Stark bestowed upon me were of kindness, but they burn like fire!"

Loki erupted into laughter when he realized why his brother was sitting so awkwardly, Tony shortly followed.

"Aw, baby's got a boo-boo, eh?" Stark mocked. "Well, luckily for you, we have a first aid kit." With that, Tony left the kitchen to enter the cabinet above the sink in the restroom and find a burn aid.

"It seems as though Stark has just the ticket for fixing your situation, Thor," Loki said in his most snakelike manner. "I must admit, should I have ever caught you with your hands between your legs, I would have assumed it would be in a much more unfortunate and equally hilarious predicament."

"ENOUGH, LOKI!" Odin roared. Loki didn't flinch—his eyes stayed on Thor.

"You do know it's not alive, don't you?" Loki asked his brother. "It won't intentionally hurt you. It's just a sandwich."

"'Witch' is right," Thor said. The blonde behemoth hadn't bothered to fight Loki or Tony in their jabs at him; this time he knew he would have laughed at Loki, as well, all those years ago before he knew better.

Tony entered the kitchen again with peroxide and bandages. "This is going to burn," he warned Thor with hardly enough time for him to move away. Thor shouted and raised his hand.

"You zap me and I won't summon Jane," Tony said sternly and softly, his eyes never moving from the burn. Before Thor knew it, his hand was bandage and fine.

"THANKS FRIEND!" Thor said exasperatedly. Tony drove his finger through his ear as if Thor had busted an eardrum.

"You're welcome, oaf."

"Well, that was darling but I must get back to what I was doing," Loki said, smugly, and turned on his heel to head back to his bedroom.

"BROTHER!" Thor shouted. Loki grimaced and slowly turned around to see a softer Thor walk up to him and gently place a hand on his shoulder. "Might I join you in that game you have in your room?"

Loki looked at Thor inquisitively and then glanced at Tony.

"Hey, I would teach you, but you're gonna' get a lot of practice just beating him," he said, followed quickly by a dark grin. Loki matched his expression and quietly lead Thor to the bedroom. "I'm sure we'll have fun, brother," he said grimly.

Odin hadn't said much as he observed his sons interact. "Are you sure about this, Stark?" Odin finally asked. Tony looked at the father—he may be cynical, but Tony has always had a way of understanding people when made to pay attention. "I think it will be fine," he finally settled on saying to the Allfather. Maybe he wasn't so awful after all. Perhaps he was just concerned and with good reason.

A couple of hours later, the house was still. Tony had managed to split so many atoms he was surprised there wasn't a hole in the middle of his room. And after consuming an entire box of White Castle sandwiches—which were left out until cooled this time—Odin was asleep in the middle of hallway. Suddenly, a shout shook Tony from his train of thought as he began considering calling Pepper to setup a definite time for her to join._ What now?_

Loki was grinning as Thor tossed a few more pieces from the chess board down on the ground. Tony could almost see the smoke rising from his ears as he entered the room. "Careful. Get any hotter and you'll set off the smoke alarm," he said. "I don't feel like calling in the fire department. We don't need you to draw any more attention to yourself than you already do."

Thor stomped out of the room furious, mumbling about going to bed for his "work requirements" that had him "laboring to a loud mechanical item that will surely make waking worse than being burned alive by 'witches.'" Tony picked up the pieces Thor had thrown down during his tantrum and sat across from Loki. "Okay," he said. "I'm bored. Ready for me to teach you the proper way to play? My dad used to play this game with me a lot. It was one of the few things we did together—because chess was at least beneficial to my cognitive functions. Otherwise it wasn't worth a damn." Tony was smiling—he had moved past his "daddy issues," but still found his relationship with his father amusing during those times. Loki just inspected his opponent carefully.

"At least you have no siblings," he finally said. "No competition there, or utter annoyance. All Odin and Odinson ever did was bond over his impending takeover of the throne. Of course, Mother would have surely played chess with me on Asgard, I'm sure." He stopped. Tony was looking up occasionally as he setup the board. He knew what he could say, but he knew Loki's type—nothing will truly satisfy him.

"White or black?" Tony asked after he was done setting up the board again. A simple answer to a bigger problem: "Actually, I'll let you move first." _Even someone as dark as this freak deserves a little light._


	4. Chapter Three

**Authors' Note: Things are slowing down for us, some, so we will have more time to devote to our own personal writing, fanfics and whatever else we have been putting off. We will also have a lot more time for this. And hopefully playing a bit of our freeplay mode of this Sims' game so we can get inspired. I hope you enjoy what we have so far, and I hope chapter three, though it's short, still proves to be an intriguing chapter for you all.**

* * *

**Chapter Three:**

Thor was still feeling a little glum about his loss to his brother over the board of chess. But losing the game—a point that he would have once been sore about—had little to do with this feeling.

It had been how the conversation had gone instead.

"_You honestly believe this scheme will work? That everything will be forgiven and we'll be a family again? You're still so naive, Odinson. No wonder I was able to trick you so easily. So long as Mother is placated, I will go along with this, but don't mistake my compliance as a change of heart. Your precious Earth and I have unfinished business."_

_Loki's tone had been so amiable but lurking underneath was a waspish quality that alarmed Thor almost as much as his actual words had been. _

_The brothers sat in the corner of Loki's dark room—walls covered in a deep red, brooding like a rejected sibling—in chairs with backs high and painted black. It was all a little too symbolic for Thor's taste, and he could imagine that Loki might feel both at home and wanting to curse Stark for having chosen the sarcastic decor. Thor's mind focused again on his brother's mocking tone and could barely hold back a gasp. _

"_You don't mean it, Brother!"_

_But Thor knew the truth then, just as he knew it now. It would take a drastic maneuver to set Loki back on the right path, but Thor was not the kind of person who easily concedes defeat. There was still something he could do to prove to Loki that he belonged with them, that he was whole with them; he just had to find it. Loki, having made up the rules to the game after skimming a book on a shelf, laughed in Thor's face as he knocked the king off of the board. "THAT'S MY THRONE NOW, BROTHER!" Loki exclaimed and cackled like a toddler playing hide-and-seek. It was an easy shift for the two, even if they both would refuse to admit it. Thor was amazed at how Loki could shift from villain to child so swiftly, and he didn't take the loss easily._

But a rematch and a proper revisit of their sinister conversation would have to wait for awhile. He had something he still needed to complete first.

Walking into the room he shared with his father, Thor was relieved to find him still awake—but barely. Odin would be starting his employment tomorrow morning, and he still needed to be told. Thor had tried this once already and was unsuccessful, searching his new abode instead for sustenance.

Thor looked imploringly at his father, willing the aged god to stay awake long enough to hear the news he'd received from the Man of Iron.

_It must have been the dark magic Father used to transport me to Midgard. It's drained him so, forcing him to go into the Odinsleep more often to restore his strength._

Poor Thor. He didn't realize that Odin was more likely suffering from old age at last; old people need their sleep, regardless of if they get their buttermilk biscuits or not. Frigga would not be happy about this.

"Father," Thor tried again, gripping Odin by the shoulders. Odin fixed him with a single, bleary-eyed stare, his eye patch obscuring the empty socket where his other eye would have been. Still, it was enough. Thor could tell he had his father's—fleeting—attention.

"Friend Stark has found you a Midgardian quest, Father!" Thor hadn't quite wrapped his mind around the concept of the job, where people worked for a livelihood; they had no such things on Asgard. "You're going to be a Slacker!"

Odin stared at him blankly. Thor released him and lowered his eyes, suddenly feeling like a child again under Odin's gaze.

"And what must I do to complete it?" Odin's voice was surprisingly mild and clear given his condition.

Thor snapped his head back up, rushing to reply. "I am not entirely sure. Stark only said that it is to be carried out at five o'clock in the morning and end at ten in the morning, Midgardian time. Despite the short hours, it is a crucial task. One that must be carried out for the good of all. It will not only help sustain us but will be of great worth to the Midgardian race as a whole. A noble task! A task worthy of a king! A sacred mission that will ensure the continued peace and balance in the universe!"

Thor continued to monologue, swept up in the grandeur he pieced together in his head like a child who manages to craft a starship with only mismatched Legos. When Odin began to sway on his feet, the sudden movement halted Thor's speech immediately. He was fading again!

"Mother will be arriving soon as well!" He nearly shouted, attempting to reengage the Allfather's attention.

Odin snapped awake, his eye widening like a camera lens, unfocused at first and then suddenly sharp and riveting on his firstborn.

"My wife? Here? When?"

"I am not certain. Stark only said it would be soon."

Odin furrowed his brows, looking down at himself in distaste. He liked these clothes to be sure—the patterns and colors were simply divine in his opinion, and so very comfortable, too—but under no circumstances could he have Frigga see him like this. He would have to talk to that insolent man and learnprecisely when his darling wife would arrive.

Thor was about to ask whether Odin had any idea of what Midgardian occupation he would be suited to—even Stark was somewhat stumped on the idea, and without his approval, Thor was hesitant to engage in any activity yet, and that was making him restless. And hungry—when a mighty shout rang through the house for the second time that day, disturbing the quiet of the late hour.

"ALRIGHT, YOU GIGANTORS, I HAVE HAD IT! FAMILY MEETING! DINING ROOM! NOW! AND DON'T YOU SMIRK AT ME, GREEN GOBLIN! JUST SEEING YOU PISSES ME OFF!"

Thor and Odin exchanged glances, Thor looking sheepish at the evident anger he instinctively knew Stark rarely displayed. Odin appeared a mix between smug and bored.

"What have you boys been doing while I was asleep?"

"I do not know, Fa—" Thor was cut off after the door flew open and Stark himself barged into his and Odin's shared room.

"Did I fucking stutter, gentlemen?" Stark said in the crassest of tones yet.

Thor immediately went on guard at the falsely pleasant tone to Stark's voice, only a cue away from reverting into Battle Mode. He knew Stark's love for his father was about as existent as Loki's. As if Thor's thoughts summoned him, Loki appeared behind Stark in the doorway, his lips still curling in an amused smile despite—or perhaps because of—Stark's shouting.

"What is wrong, Tony?" Thor used Stark's first name, attempting to ward off any violent urges the man might have and remind him that they were friends.

Tony picked up on Thor's methods immediately, judging by the withering expression on his face.

"I'll tell you what's wrong," the billionaire began. "I just attempted to buy a damn weightlifting machine, so that he," Tony gesticulated stiffly in Odin's direction, "will actually be able to get an early promotion tomorrow. He could use some exercise…"

Tony's eyes softened, but only cynically so. He turned around and waved his hand in the air casually as he spoke.

"Imagine my surprise when I saw that our bank account had trickled down tonothing when I know that we had at least 500 Simoleons left." Tony said. "Which, hey, wouldn't be a big deal for a handsome, entrepreneurial guy like me, except for the fact that Pepper has cut us off. In other words, we're flat broke."

_"White or black?" Tony asked after he was done setting up the board again. A simple answer to a bigger problem: "Actually, I'll let you move first." _

_Tony and Loki sat across from each other, huddled over the chess board. Loki would grab a piece and inspect its characteristics carefully in his hand. To some extent, Tony admired how Loki didn't hold it like a chimp-much as his brother inspects most things-letting it dangle between his forefinger and thumb. Instead, Loki holds it, clutched in his palm, and delicately turns it as he takes in all of its sculpted features. After each inspection, he would place it back in its proper spot on the wooden board and then give an expectant look at Tony, waiting for his answer to his unspoken question: What do I do with this? _

_"You have to move that one in the shape of an 'L'," Tony said, noticing Loki's long inspection of the knight. "It's shaped like a horse, it likes the letter 'L' and it thinks it's noble, too. You two have a lot in common. Just don't get any bright ideas about the horse thing." _

_Loki looked at him, brow suddenly furrowing. _

_"What?" Tony asked with a sarcastic grin. "I can read Wikipedia." _

_Loki chose to ignore the comment and continued playing, doing the same as he had before with each piece as Tony showed him how to move them._

_They were nearly halfway through the game-not surprisingly Tony was winning by a few moves-and Loki decided to shift the conversation from chess maneuvers to manipulation. _

_"So I noticed something interesting," Loki began, hardly fighting as his mouth curled into a devilish smile. Tony looked up at him slowly-he could hear the grin before he saw it. "Odinson is procuring large amounts of food to sustain his gargantuan figure, and day one is hardly complete." Loki's eyes were drawn to the single tally mark he left on his bed post. He was keeping track of how many days he would spend here. He wanted proof of his torturous time here, should his dead body be found in the corner of the room one day. _

_Tony smiled and looked down. He moved an untouched pawn forward two spaces and then looked back up. "Well, hopefully not too much considering Pepper cut me off so I wouldn't get too excited with any luxuries or grandeur schemes. As if I would." It was Tony's turn to be sarcastic. _

_Tony was not one accustomed to having to watch after his spending, so the threat of "running low" would not warrant an initial response. He had heard it before from Pepper when she wanted him to keep a building to 20 floors instead of build it up to 40 or 50-despite his valiant efforts and justifiable arguments for the space needed for Stark Enterprises to expand. Loki was annoyed that his efforts to draw Tony's attention to their depleted, communal wallet were triumphed by his opponent's ego. He decided to repeat his efforts in a new fashion. _

_"You know what might help?" Loki said, eyes glinting with mischief. "You should go ahead and purchase items that might help us with our newly acquired employment. That way the next time that behemoth tries to waste through our leftover profits, he'll be shunned." _

_Tony noticed the shine in Loki's eyes but chose to ignore it, assuming the green fool was just amused by his dig at his long lost brother of King Kong-esque stature. _

_"That's actually a decent idea," Tony said. He flipped out his phone and clicked on an online catalogue and began searching for some heavyweight equipment-the one skill-building item missing from their cozy home. These fools could use a few more earthly skills, Tony thought._

_The Iron Man smugly looked at a few pieces of equipment that looked similar to the home gym equipment he had, but Tony knew that even as an investment they would be too much for starting out. Pepper would never approve. He saw a modest piece of equipment-much like the obnoxious infomercials boast-and pressed "purchase." His try was refuted by a small buzzing noise and a pop-up that read "out of Simoleons." _

_"I'm sorry, what?!" Tony shouted at the device, confused. _

_Loki looked up, pleased. "What's wrong, _Tony_?" Stark's name came out of Loki's mouth in a sly, slow manner that made Tony snap his head forward at Loki. The rejected demigod's fingers traced over the top of his remaining knight coyly as he watched Tony's expression. He loved turning the situation inside-out-and his manipulative game was distracting him from his growing reverence for this man of iron-a title more pretentious than "Odinson" when Stark said it._

Tony had nodded in the direction of the dining room and sat down at the head of the table, rushing the demi-losers to follow him.

Thor and Loki sat on either side of him, while Odin chose to sit at the other end of the table, facing him with a look of boredom.

"Wake up, Odin," Tony snarled. "This involves you." What Tony had originally mistaken for irreverence was just fatigue. _God, could the old fart be any lazier?_ "We have to talk about our spending habits! I can't keep this place together if you don't control yourselves!" Tony exclaimed, suppressing a full-fledged shout.

"Friend Stark!" Thor said too excitedly for the tone of the room. "We have money, don't we?!"

"We don't have any now, _Friend Thor_!" Tony snarled. Loki looked between the two and allowed another smirk to play on his lips. The Awfulfather could not refuse the chance to butt-in, however. The tension was draining his already failing system. "STOP THIS!" Odin shouted as he watched the tension grow in the last second since "Friend Thor" had slipped from Tony's lips. The interruption fueled Tony's irritation.

"WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING, YOUR OGRE OF A SON ATE HIS WAY THROUGH OUR FUNDS!" Tony said, slamming his fists on the table. He took a breath, realizing that his anger was getting out of hand again. This felt familiar and disturbing...

Tony's head snapped in Loki's direction, realizing now that the student had swiftly become the teacher. The dark knight had played the multimillionaire like a pawn. "This isn't chess," Tony snarled in Loki's direction. "I don't play these kinds of games." Loki's smirk faded when met with the challenge. The father and son looked at each other confused at the exchange. Tony realized that this mutant villain-without the help of any scepter or Tesseract-had flipped the house on its head. It took less skill than when the team of Avengers argued amongst each other after Phase 2 came into light-the only upperhand Tony saw now was that he saw it coming before it got out-of-hand, and this time there was no Hulk.

And he wasn't ready to let that happen again.

"This house is already tense," Tony said after calming down. "Even if we hate it, we have to stay united."

Thor unclenched his fists from under the table-he always hated this sort of confrontation and this time there was no amount of wit or ego he could use to defend himself like the last time he was stuck in a Midgardian argument. _So petty_, Thor reflected. Odin yawned a bit and refocused his eye on Tony.

_Strong man_, he thought. Tony noticed Odin's eye on him in a less-than exhausted manner this time.

"Anything to say, Pops?" Tony asked with a smirk on his face-his humor was returning.

"Why do Midgardians put so much value on this money?" Odin asked lazily. Tony rolled his eyes. "I've been watching over Midgard-"

"And very well, I might add," Tony interrupted with a smirk. Loki had half a mind to share in a Midgardian "high-five" but thought against it. Odin cleared his throat and spoke louder.

"I've been watching over Midgard and I've always been bewildered by how something so finite could cause so much stress," Odin said. "Why does it matter if we have a lot of money?"

Thor looked at his father with a proud smile-his father's philosophical wisdom always inspired him. But the proud expression only appeared to Tony like a dog who was waiting for a treat for successfully fetching a bone. Tony chuckled.

"A very interesting point, Awfulfather," Tony said. "But the point is, we need it to be able to afford food. As we all seem to understand all too well, food is necessary for survival. Now, unless you plan on peeing like a golden, fertilized fountain all over the front lawn and making food appear for your unusually large son, then we need to cut back until our actual jobs start. By the way, if you do decide to do that, you two can share the crops and the Green Goblin and I will just save up and eat from our own stock. I was never into the whole 'golden showers' thing."

"FRIEND STARK!" Thor shouted, his voice boasting from every corner of the freshly furnished dining room. Tony gripped the table and closed his eyes. _It's only been one day in this house with him, and it's been the longest day yet._

"Yes?" Tony mumbled.

"I need a job!" Thor exclaimed at a slightly lower volume.

"Oh... Right." Tony hadn't thought of that yet. "Well, what did you do with the paper, genius?"

Thor looked around and saw it on the ground behind him. In the bustle of the day, it must have gotten knocked around. "I FOUND IT!" The behemoth dove for the paper and handed it to Tony. There's that puppy-dog look again, Tony thought.

"Well... There is one..." Tony said and smiled. "You'll have to actually work on building a skill." His eyes grew a little darker. _This could be interesting._ "Thor?"

"Yes, Friend Stark?"

"Do you enjoy art?"

"I... Possibly..." Thor looked down at the table while he thought about it.

"You have this weird Shakespearean/Mozart thing going on with your hair," Tony said brightly as he gestured towards the demigod's mane. "I think it could work."

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Typical," Tony said, still smirking. "You'll have to learn to paint and sculpt. It will be hard. Starving artists are called that for a reason."

"STARVING?" Thor was suddenly unamused and looked almost pathetic. His eyes darted to his father hoping the Allfather would help him. Odin was napping.

"Yes, yes, I know," Tony said. "Going more than five minutes without food will be tough, but we'll also be making some money to help you, so as long as you practice your art and go to work on time-I can't stress that last part enough to everyone-then you won't get fired. ODIN, WAKE UP FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!"

Odin's head shot up.

"Fired?" Father and son said in unison-one drearier than the other.

"Lose your job."

"And we don't want that," Loki said, seriously this time. "I enjoy my fair share of food, too, Odinson." Loki's words hinted at a snarl, but he shared the same glimmer in Tony's eyes when he thought about Thor attempting to get in touch with his creative side.

"Alright it's settled," Tony said. "The bus will be waiting to take you to work at noon. Lucky you."

"You might want to get some rest, Thor," Loki said deviously. "You're no Barlach yet." Father and son, as always, shared a confused look-their resemblance was truly uncanny to Tony.

Tony, however, was impressed by Loki's cultural knowledge. The Avengers never knew Loki had actually spent some decent time in Germany's museums before he crashed that party. The art moved him. Tony still remembers their first, official meeting there. However, as much as this conversation was starting to amuse Tony, he realized how late it was getting and knew he had to be up early.

"I'm only just now starting to feign off some of my insomnia, I need to get some rest," Tony said.

The group agreed to adjourn their meeting and go their separate ways.

However, Tony was already starting to regret the glass walls of his bedroom when he realized that his nightmares could start haunting his roommates, too.


End file.
